Brushfork Elementary

1. First and foremost, take time to listen! When you were a kid, did you feel that your parents were too busy to listen to you? Did you swear that you'd never treat your kids like that? Good family communication starts with taking the time to listen.

2. Listen quietly and attentively.
* Look at your child.
* Pay attention.
* Show that you are interested.
* Respond with a word, a sound, a nod.

When you respond to your child's feelings with concern, you encourage him to shift his focus from feeling bad so he can concentrate more easily on the problem.

3. Respect your child's feelings.

* Make sure your child knows that feelings are important. Acknowledge and accept feelings. Resist the temptation to deny feelings or judge. Doing that might close the door on future communciation.

* Giving feelings a name. Try to pinpoint the feeling. When your child says, "I feel bad because I failed the tes," ask if she fees frustrated, disappointed, or embarrassed, etc. It's easier to find solutions when you clearly identify the feeling.

By accepting and identifying your child's feelings, you help her begin to work out the problem. Remember, accepting feelings does not mean accepting poor behavior.

4. Be aware of non-verbal communication. Your tone of voice, facial expression, posture, eye contact, and gestures have an effect. They can either send the message that you're interested and non-judgmental or just the opposite.

5. Hangle excuses without making commands. Sometimes your child may not be able to express what's bothering him, and may make up an excuse not to go to school. He may say he doesn't feel well enough to go. Listen to your child with an open mind and an accepting attitude. This will give him a chance to think and talk things out.

Even if you can't get to the bottom of things, you can accept his feelings while making sure he goes to school. You can say, "It's hard to go to school when you're not feeling well. Would you like me to write to your teacher telling her your stomach hurts this morning?"

YOU PLAY AN INDISPENSABLE ROLE IN DEVELOPING YOUR CHILDREN'S SELF-CONFIDENCE. TAKE THE TIME TO LISTEN TO YOUR KIDS AND ACCEPT THEIR FEELINGS. IT'S THE FIRST STEP TOWARD HELPING YOUR CHILDREN SUCCEED IN SCHOOL. "